An Obituary for the Unsung Hero of Captain Marvel
[This post contains spoilers for the 2019 film Captain Marvel.]
Skrull Science Guy (presumably not his real name), age unknown, died on some date, 1995, in an abandoned shed on a boggy Louisiana swamp, with no one except his mortal enemy Yon-Rogg by his side.
“Science Guy,” as he was called by his leader, Talos, served as Head Science Officer for a team of Skrull refugees. His science skills were lately called into question after 3 humans figured out the coordinates of Mar-Vell’s lab almost immediately after being given the same information Science Guy was unable to piece together for years. However, let this failure not be his lasting legacy, especially since no other human or alien technology in that time seemed to notice a truly gigantic invisible space ship orbiting barely outside of Earth’s atmosphere. It should also be noted that Science Guy was able to modify a normal human aircraft into a safe space shuttle in the course of one night with, presumably, the tools a former Air Force pilot happened to have in her backyard. Thus we can objectively observe that Science Guy was at least smarter than all of NASA combined, if still significantly dumber than Tony Stark.
Little is known about Science Guy’s life before his associates abducted Carol Danvers. It can be assumed that he, like his people, lost his home to Kree invaders, making him an intergalactic refugee. His life was likely one of tremendous loss and constant change, always on the move to escape the Kree and taking on new identities.
Science Guy demonstrated immense courage and commitment to his cause. As the team of heroes raced to find Mar-Vell’s lab and rescue Skrull refugee families, it became apparent a trap would be needed to keep Yon-Rogg on Earth as long as possible. Science Guy bravely volunteered to appear as Carol Danvers to distract his people’s most dangerous enemy, a job he knew would almost certainly lead to his demise. Skrull Science Guy displayed the kind of self-sacrificial heroism usually reserved for the titular characters of MCU films, and yet no one will ever hang a poster of this Skrull on their walls. No one even had the decency to mention his name before he was unceremoniously murdered for the crime of not to being a hot blonde woman.
Skrull Science Guy is survived by his boss, Talos, the superhero whose life he saved, Carol Danvers, his murderer, Yon-Rogg, and almost complete strangers, Nick Fury and Maria Rambeau. Science Guy may also be survived by persons who cared for him deeply, perhaps some family or a romantic partner, but there’s really no way to say for sure. He was preceded in death by an unnamed colleague who had the misfortune of ‘simming’ S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Phil Coulson, unaware that Coulson has the bad habit of meeting grisly ends in Marvel movies.
There will be no service for Skrull Science Guy, and condolences cannot be sent anywhere, because the ungrateful jackasses with whom he spent his last days seemed not to register his heroic death in any way.
Rest in peace, Skrull Science Guy. You deserved better.
