The trailer for Game of Thrones season 8 was released this week. While most normal fans are probably spending their time pondering important questions like – “Who will end up on the Iron Throne?” or “How will they defeat the White Walkers?” or “What will happen between Jon & Daenerys?” – I find myself lingering on other, weirder questions.
Since I’m endlessly amused by my own oddball brain, I figured why not share my initial trailer musings with the world?
Here I present my stream of consciousness while watching the season 8 Game of Thrones trailer
Oh lord. I’m not going to be able to watch any of this season with even a tiny bit of light in the room, am I? I can barely tell what’s happening on screen. Why would they make a TV show that is nigh impossible to watch because it’s so damn dark all the time?!? Why??
I can’t be the only one who thinks the Greyjoy family sigil bears a striking resemblance to the female reproductive system, right?
Ugh. Euron is still a thing, isn’t he? It’s not even that I hate him, like Joffrey or Ramsay, it’s just that I’m super bored by his brand of knockoff-Ewan-McGregor-meets-Captain-Jack-Sparrow villainy.
Maybe Theon will kill him soon! That’s what Theon was off to do last time we saw him, right? I’m a little unclear on that. I feel like he beat a dude to death just to earn respect? The Iron Born are a troubled people.
Or better yet, maybe Yara will kill Euron and rescue herself! Aw, Yara 🙁 It seems so unlikely that you’ll survive this season. I pine for you.
OK I’m getting distracted by the Greyjoys. What’s happening in this trailer?
Fist pump! Tormund and Beric are ALIVE, y’all!! I mean, I don’t really care that much either way with Beric, but Tormund Giantsbane is a goddam treasure, and if he’s going to die, it better be EPIC.
When and where did Daenerys go shopping for her all-new, completely fabulous winter wardrobe? Because before season 7 she had exactly 0 outfits that would be appropriate in this climate, and then BOOM: endless supply of enviable coats.
… Awkward.
This has to be after Jon finds out his parentage, right? He’s gotta be in the crypts visiting newly discovered mommy dearest, Lyanna Stark-Targaryen’s grave. So is now the best time for aunt-he-unwittingly-slept-with to creep up all “How YOU doing?”
Do we think that knowing they’re aunt and nephew will put a stop to the Jon-Dany affair? Or will Dany, especially, being a Targaryen, be like “Meh. Know what? At least we’re not twins! Let’s make out!”?
Or another possibility is this shot takes place after Jon finds out, but he hasn’t told Daenerys yet due to the manifold political complications that would ensue… so she’s all looking to resume sexy times, and he’s all like “Aah I’m actually your brother’s son, but I can’t tell you that or you’ll probably have me eaten by one of your dragons, so I guess I just have to keep making love to my aunt?!”
Just. So. Awkward. You guys.
Well HELLO, GENDRY!
Wait. Gendry’s at Winterfell…
And Arya is at Winterfell…
And Gendry & Arya are both consenting adults (or what passes for such in Westeros)…
ARYA & GENDRY CAN HOOK UP!!!!!
That’s it. I’ve found the Game of Thrones hill I will die on. Gendry+Arya hookup is what I need to happen in season 8 to make me happy. I had no idea how invested I was in that until this exact moment.
Awwww
One of them is for sure going to die. They’ll make you think it’s going to be Grey Worm in the big battle, and then swerve, Missandei will eat it right when you think everyone is safe. You heard it here first, folks.
Sigh. Seriously they’re so cute.
Hey! Remember when Tyrion was a compelling, charismatic, 3-dimensional character who almost single-handedly carried a few seasons as the protagonist? No? You’re right… it’s a pretty faint memory at this point.
Oh, Tyrion. I really hope the writers give you at least 1 storyline this season to recall your former glory, instead of just using you to look faintly queasy every time Daenerys threatens to burn someone alive or has sex with her nephew.
Wanna know my most secretly cherished endgame wish for Game of Thrones? That Tyrion and Sansa meet up in Winterfell, remember they’re married, own it, and rule the Seven Kingdoms together as a kickass political team.
Yes, I’m aware that will never happen. No, doesn’t stop me from wanting it.
Hi, Podrick 🙂
Wow. That battle is really going to be something spectacular, isn’t it?
Wait… Theon and Yara weren’t in that trailer at all! They showed Gendry and Jorah and Podrick and friggin’ Beric Dondarrion… No Theon?
Do I secretly like the Greyjoys way more than I thought? I feel like maybe I do. I spent a lot of this trailer thinking about them.
When we watched the trailer at work, we had the EXACT same thought about the Greyjoy sigil. Combine that with the rather phallic octupus on the ship’s bow….
Well, it is HBO I guess!
I feel like Melisandre AND Greyworm AND a host of other people are going to die in this season. Basically, I have to prepare myself for everyone to be dead so that I’m not as devastated when it happens. Toss up on who I’ll be saddest over, but I think Tyrion, Sam, Jon, Jaime, & Davos are at the top of the list.
Those that would make me least sad, so will likely still be alive and in power at the end? = Cersei (duh), Euron (duh), Bran, Theon, Arya (yes, I know. I’m such a disappointment as a sister.)
But I love your endgame! That would for sure be kickass.
Do you mean Missandei (freed slave, friend of Daenerys) or Melisandre (red-headed witch, last seen getting kicked out of the north for murdering a child princess)? I feel like you mean Missandei. But I had totally forgotten about Melisandre til you mentioned her… Wonder if she’ll show back up at all??
Arya would not be in my top 5 most-tragic-deaths either… as long as she gets the chance to hook up with Gendry BEFORE she dies. Seriously. That is my #1 thing I want from this season. More than Jon riding a dragon, more than Jaime cutting Cersei’s heart out with a spoon, more than Sansa realizing being married to Tyrion Lannister is actually in like the top 2% of marriages she could’ve made in Westeros. Please just a little Arya & Gendry action!